"Crime": Smuggling rubber chickens.
Tristan was caught **smuggling noisy rubber chickens into outgoing packages,** fully aware that unsuspecting customers would be greeted with an ear-piercing **“SQUAAAWK”** upon opening their boxes.
The scheme **unraveled** with a sudden **spike in customer service complaints**, with panicked callers reporting that their deliveries were **“screaming at them.”**
Tristan has since been **banned from handling outgoing shipments** and is currently under surveillance for **possible clown-related activity.**
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